Happy money, by ken honda
Ken Honda writes a unique and concise work discussing money in the context of the law of attraction. The type of energy or, in this case money, you emit into the world is reflected back to you. Interestingly, he points out that the word “currency” comes from the root current or energy. Money is flowing all around us, especially in the digital age.
Honda describes that most people have a high money IQ and read books about money. However, people generally lack EQ or emotional intelligence related to money. If people don’t exercise self-control to keep money, then IQ is irrelevant.
Money is an inanimate object, but we project so many feelings onto it. It gets blamed for the problems of mankind. We should feel sorry for money and instead reflect on our own shortcomings. Each person needs to be honest and dig deep about their beliefs about money and what’s really motivating their desire for it. No matter how rich or poor, everyone worries about money. So maybe money isn’t the ultimate reason for anxiety. As a thought experiment, a person needs to start trusting their life without money. If you truly trust yourself and your talents, you will worry less about your financial future and your ability to provide.
Honda lists a variety of ways to channel your money for happy flow, including sending a gift to a friend, tipping generously, overpaying for a service and observing the person’s reaction, or investing in your own emotional well-being. Lately, I’ve been more inclined to give small gifts to people that I find relevant to their tastes and it feels good. When money comes in we should verbalize “thank you” and when we pay for goods and services that benefit us, we should also say “thank you.” Money should be used for fun, to help and entertain people. The more you utilize with proper intention, the more you will attract.
Most people complain about paying an electric bill, for example, and view it as a burden. Instead, this is a great opportunity to ponder the incredible technology servicing you. Think of your close friends who can provide you with shelter assuming a worst case scenario if you go broke. What's the worst that can happen? With a support system of friends and family, they will be happy to let you crash on their couches until you find your next opportunity. For every contact you have, you can spend a week on their couch. If you have 10 friends, that's 2.5 months to figure out your next step. Certainly there are ways we can achieve security and peace of mind rather than constantly worrying about money!
The paradox of choice, by barry schwartz
Perhaps one of the most important lessons from the personal development arsenal is to learn to be happy with choices that are good enough. Barry Schwartz argues that paralysis from having many choices makes you worse off and is a problem plaguing affluent western societies (although he does concede that having a base line of options is a good thing). Why not make life simpler? Once we make more money, we look for a nicer apartment, nicer clothes and are never content (The Jewish tradition in Ethics of our Fathers 4:1 instructs: Who is rich? He who is satisfied with his lot). This is a precarious area. Steve Jobs wore the same black turtle neck and jeans most days. Our common belief is that the more freedom we have the happier we will be, but “The Paradox of Choice” argues to the contrary.
The fewer options we present to people, the more likely we are to sell them something. In a famous attempt to sell high quality jams (yes, like jelly eaten with peanut butter), one vendor offered 24 samples and the second vendor offered 6 samples. In both cases, the people sampled 6 flavors. However, the group who had 24 options, only made purchases 3% of the time. By contrast, the group presented with 6 samples bought jam 30% of the time. In a similar example, some restaurants, particularly diners, have a little trick where they offer a comprehensive menu with lots of options. Then they offer a specials menu with a few options which they make higher margins on. Customers are likely to choose the specials because it’s easier.
The investment industry offers 10,000 mutual funds and ETFs (still boggles my mind how many underperforming products and financial professionals exist out there! But alas, this is a rant for a different conversation). You could choose a low cost Vanguard index or agonize over the details of a more exotic product that will probably perform worse. The result is fewer people invest out of fear of making the wrong decision and forego employer benefits to help build towards retirement. In the realm of healthcare, Schwartz points out that doctors used to be more proactive with giving patients their medical opinion. Nowadays, the doctor offers you options without telling you what to do. Our society calls it “patient autonomy” but really it’s shifting autonomy from someone who knows what they’re talking about to someone who doesn’t.
“Everything was better back when everything was worse,” reads a caption for a cartoon presented by Schwartz in his TedTalk. It used to be possible for people to have experiences that were a pleasant surprise. Today with so many options, the best is for something to be as good as it was supposed to be. The secret to happiness is low expectations. When we adjust our expectations, we no longer desire to be satisfied in a way a person will typically fall short. For example, if we know a friend is notorious for being tardy, why waste energy if they are late? Isn’t it obvious? Similarly, when we make consumer decisions, we should set specific criteria before we set out to make purchases so we aren’t overwhelmed by options we don’t need. Finally, Schwartz stresses that everyone needs a metaphorical fishbowl to operate within a system of limits and rules, making happiness more attainable.
GameChangers, by Dave Asprey
While I am skeptical of Dave Asprey and his biohacking experiments, I was pleasantly surprised to find solid strategies for optimal performance and a few new ideas in this book. The foundation of Dave Asprey’s biohacking philosophy is to take control of your biology and mind. When you change the environment within you, you can gain control of your life without being jerked around by your base instincts. He interviews a bunch of high performers and shares his findings.
Stewart Friedman, a professor of business, discusses decision fatigue. We are used to budgeting our money, but not our decisions. The ACC (anterior cingulate cortex) is the part of the brain which controls will power and decision making. Every time you make a decision, you withdraw a little bit of balance from it. Friedman suggests taking inventory of your daily decisions and discarding the ones that bring less value. Every decision you make reduces your overall ability to make the best decisions later in the day. By being aware of our fundamental goals, we can bring more clarity to this area.
Our mind is malleable and we can retrain ourselves to swap out a negative limiting belief for something that will serve us better. A “meta-moment” is the sliver of time between a trigger and response, when we are angry but have yet to scream. In this time, we can become more aware of our brain’s “hardwiring” or default settings. And then use it to change our “upwiring,” the practice of remaking our mind in a purposeful way. The brain’s neuroplasticity gives us an incredible ability to change for the better.
Asprey promotes Blue Blocker glasses. They have become popular to reduce light interfering with sleep and to provide comfort and protection for your eyes while staring at the computer screen. While I am skeptical that these particular glasses are effective, I think it's important to gain awareness about how long you spend staring at the computer screen and consider eye health. One of my favorite interventions is the strengths perspective, in which a person’s strongest qualities are leveraged to configure their life. Tal Ben-Shahar, a positive psychologist points out that when a challenge arises people focus on what's wrong. Such is human nature. Instead, we can focus on utilizing their core competencies and strengths to overcome their weaknesses. Finally, Robert Mauer introduces a simple but powerful concept for habit building and productivity. It's very effective to work towards larger goals by chipping away consistently over time rather than becoming overwhelmed with the task at hand. From an investing standpoint, get rich quick schemes don't really work and it's productive to think about every goal you take on as a long-term commitment.
How to talk to anyone, by leil lowndes
This under the radar title packs in lots of interesting tactics to become a more suave socializer. Although not a classic in the psychology genre, I’d argue this provides more pragmatic hacks to become a more likable person, hone serious charisma, and even help woo that special someone.
First things first. You've got to prbactice your smile :-). Research suggests that training lips to erupt more slowly comes off as more sincere and personalized. Lowndes instructs to become a smile watcher to incorporate from others and bring higher attention to your own patterns. The flooding smile, for example, is when you look at someone else, soak in their persona, and then let a big responsive smile flood over your face slowly taking the person over like a big wave.
When someone asks you where you’re from, it’s your responsibility to add some substance. I love this concept! Practice adding a descriptive sentence or two when asked common questions to elevate conversation. You won’t become a better socializer by blaming the other party for being boring! Another pitfall is giving a one word answer for your job title, referred to by Lowndes as a “naked job flasher.” Rather than simply saying you’re a lawyer, you can say, “I’m an attorney. Our firm specializes in employment law. In fact, now I’m involved in a case where a company actually discharged a woman for taking extra maternity leave that was a medical necessity!” Further, make sure you add a benefit statement in your job description. People want you to take the initiative to explain how you can provide value and help them! Don’t just say you’re a cosmetic surgeon, rather “I help people to look as young as they feel through cosmetic surgery.” Parroting is useful to transform conversation into a tennis match by merely repeating the subject back. In a discussion about theater, you can ask “theater?” The other person continues, “Yes it was a great show!” To which you reply “Great show?” To which the other replies, “Yes a new show by Stephen Sondheim called Sweeney Todd.” And so on…This is particularly useful when you're feeling lethargic!
Leil coins the cute term “CommYOUnication” to inform that successful people translate everything in the other person’s terms, echoing one of Dale Carnegie’s main principles. Using ‘you’ frequently is the most powerful word to captivate their attention. “Jill, you will really love this Indian restaurant. Will you join me there this evening for dinner?” Or “You look great in that suit” rather than “I like that suit”
Implied compliments also go a long way, such as “You’ve obviously been well...” and “Excuse me, could you tell me if there are any fine dining restaurants nearby?” This question implies the person has taste and sophistication. Avoid asking the cliche questions that can put people in an awkward place, especially if they’re unemployed. Rather than asking what they do, ask what they’re most passionate about or tell them they look exotic rather than asking where they’re from. I love the idea of taking radical responsibility to transform mundane small talk into something much more.
spontaneous happiness, by dr. Andrew weil
Dr. Andrew Weil is a tremendous resource who discusses the interplay between physical health and emotional well-being. He has a bunch of books (though they have a bunch of overlap) and I recommend checking a couple out. Humans are bad at predicting which future events will make them happy. We are equipped to reach for contentment external to ourselves. However, emotional well-being must come from within and reaching external goals often disappoints. Weil distinguishes between happiness and emotional well-being. It’s the latter that we should aim to achieve since happiness is fleeting. Humans actually have an innate capacity for self-regulation and healing and the mind and body are inseparable.
Dr. Weil compares America and more affluent nations to less developed areas such as India, Thailand, Latin America, Africa, and the Arctic. He points out that day to day happiness in such countries is unconnected to income level. By contrast, with more modern societies, comes more depression. He refers to this American problem of generally high depression rates as the “disease of affluence.”
A significant section is dedicated to nature. Evolution didn’t prepare us for the man made noise of our daily lives. We should protect ourselves from disturbing sounds such as blaring alarms that we become immune to. The media we consume can also negatively influence our perceptions. Weil stresses that being part of nature is important to uplift mood. People who live on farms and work the land are happier and he suggests that dirt and earth may be the new prozac. As technology advances and we become more prosperous, we also become more isolated. But fundamental to our emotional well-being is social connectedness and relationships literally help physically structure the brain. We are social creatures but now that we have air conditioning, for example, we are more inclined to feel that “we can take care of ourselves” and distance ourselves from others. It’s important to stay emotionally connected to others as technology advances.
Perhaps most difficult is a person’s ability to manage their own thoughts. Emotions actually originate in a person’s mind, mediated by nerve networks, neurotransmitters, and hormones rather than from the gut. Mark Twain advises, “drag your thoughts away from your troubles…by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.” Dr. Weil cites Epictetus, the Greek stoic philosopher, to emphasize that transforming one’s self is the key to achieving prolonged contentedness.
self-reliance, by ralph waldo emerson
In Emerson’s brief work, he introduces transcendentalism. People are at their best when they’re self-reliant, leveraging their own intuitions and experiences. Society is in conspiracy against man and man has conformed to his detriment so that he doesn’t feel alone. Even children, Emerson believed, have the ability to trust and assert themselves better than the average adult. It’s man’s primary duty to trust himself.
Ralph believed that Imitation is suicide and you’re never going to be happy chasing someone else’s dream by modeling their methods. I disagree with this to some degree as role models can serve as huge sources of inspiration, though you should ultimately define your own goals. He laments that society has lost all sense of what it means to be self-reliant and that people must embrace non-conformity to recover their independence, even if doing so leads a person to be ostracized.
Finally, he argues that self-reliance can revolutionize every aspect of society. Instead of praying and depending on external philosophical and religious systems outside of ourselves, we should act on our own ideas. Rather than traveling abroad for culture, Americans should create their own arts and culture. The true path to peace and progress, comes from developing the courage to lead a contrarian life.
How not to diet, by michael greger
Dr. Greger is a brilliant and hilarious doctor with a mission to share his inspiring health information with everyone. His nearly 600 page work offers a comprehensive overview of the diet literature based on scientific data and published research. He lays out every possible little weight loss hack and the benefits of different foods based on science and data. As most books in this genre, he emphasizes a plant based diet for optimal weight maintenance and loss. While his main healthy eating tips aren’t necessarily novel, I think Michael Greger is a particularly valuable resource (though I might be slightly biased since I find him entertaining). You can catch some of his videos at nutritionfacts.org.
The business reality of the food industry is quite unfortunate. Government subsidies are given for unhealthy foods and the profit margins for fruits and vegetables are slim. The processed food industry is 2 trillion dollars and big business and government don’t work too hard to direct people work towards a plant based diet. An alarming 70% of Americans are overweight or obese leading to obvious health problems as well as a 1 trillion dollar drag on the economy, according to the Milken Institute.
Perhaps the most common misconception that I used to believe is that exercise, particularly cardio, leads to weight loss. The gym was where I focused most of my efforts to reduce calories but it’s more effective to reduce caloric intake and eat nutritiously. While the data on exercise and weight loss are weak, Dr. Greger points out that there are still numerous other health benefits associated with exercise and recommends 60-90 minutes a day (although points out how few people are committed to those recommendations).
Heart disease leads to 400,000 deaths in America a year, is the top cause of death, and is often preventable. In the famous China study, 500,000 people were monitored eating a plant based diet with practically no incidences of heart disease! It’s no secret that many other countries have way healthier eating habits than Americans. In Michael Moore’s documentary, “Where to Invade Next,” a satire on American social issues, he interviews a French chef who laughs at pictures of the typical American fast food school meal. Meanwhile, the chef is preparing a full course, nutrient rich meal for his middle schoolers (though not plant based).
One interesting hack to boost metabolism, suppress appetite, and help with weight loss is drinking water before meals. Dr. Greger suggests 2 cups. People don’t think of filling up before meals on little to no calories. Interestingly, one of the detailed studies included, demonstrates how pure water is more effective than juice, tea, or salt water. There is something magical about water in its purest form and we should train ourselves to consume lots of it to fill up and boost metabolism.
A final point is that eating more healthfully should be part of a genuine lifestyle transformation rather than a quick fix. The author warns against weight loss surgeries that don’t fix the underlying problem of pursuing a long-term healthy lifestyle. Dr. Greger is quirky and exudes passion. Research journals with esoteric medical terminology flash on the screen supporting his ideas with science literature in his videos. You should check them out!
walden, henry david thoreau
Henry David Thoreau’s philosophy can be summarized by simplicity, authenticity, and disobedience. Thoreau built a cabin in the woods to experiment with simple living and minimalism for two years. He described it as a declaration of independence, social experiment, spiritual voyage, and satire: “I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it has to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” In his solitude, Thoreau details the minutiae of his life and the details of his cabin that he built from scratch and adjacent pond called Walden, giving the reader vivid perspective of his minimalist lifestyle and all that it entails.
Thoreau reflects that while life may have its challenges, there are four basic necessities of life. Food, shelter, clothing, and food are relatively speaking not so difficult to attain, but the modern man configures many aspects of his life to achieve superfluous material possessions.
Once these basics have been achieved, a person should focus on personal development and spiritual growth. Thoreau sharply criticizes the mass of men who lead lives of quiet desperation. By immersing himself in nature, he was able to objectively assess modern society which he distrusted reflecting that, “the civilized man has bought a coach, but has lost use of its feet.”
Thoreau viewed technology as an unnecessary distraction which couldn’t really address our happiness, “We are in great haste to construct a magnetic telegraph from Maine to Texas, but Maine and Texas have nothing important to communicate.” Perhaps with technology and social media ruling our lives, Thoreau’s critique of modern society can be no more relevant today.
the law of attraction, by michael losier
The law of attraction sounds a bit like voodoo at first glance, but is essentially a psychological intervention similar to cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to rewire our thoughts. Our subconscious mind has been programmed from a very early age to inform how we think about the world. In an unfortunate example, parents can program negative ideas in a child’s mind that they will believe unless rewired.
Your thoughts determine a certain energy or vibration that you give off. These vibrations ultimately influence your actions, the people you attract, and the results you get. Albert Einstein believed that everything is energy and that a person can match the frequency of the reality he wants. People in a poverty mindset will continue to attract more poverty and people in an abundance mentality will attract more abundance.
This is largely a workbook with exercises to help us reword our language, which serves as an amazing and pragmatic way to practice this principle. Rather than saying “I will never find a job,” we can say “I am in the process of finding work.” Rather than saying “I don’t like that person I went on a date with,” we can say “We have different lifestyles.” It’s human nature to think negatively about people and it feels cathartic to speak our minds when we are treated unfairly. But harboring negative sentiment only leads to a cycle of more negative outcomes.
Cognitive behavioral therapy is a practical approach to isolate limiting thoughts and reframe them. We can embrace a challenging person as an opportunity to practice compassion. Affirmations are also a very important tool. By repeating positive statements about ourselves and what we desire, we will attract more of what we want. Practice saying something positive about yourself in the mirror. It’s hard but builds confidence. Finally, it’s crucial to be deliberate with our social circles and distance ourselves from toxic people. Warren Buffett emphasizes that we are a product of the few closest people in our inner circle.
The 4-hour workweek, by timothy ferriss
Tim Ferriss is quite a motivated dude and one of the most famous personalities in the realm of personal development as evidenced by his near cult following. I was pretty obsessed with him for a while since he exposed me to ideas in alternative work and productivity, though the infatuation has worn off after reading a bunch of his books and listening to his podcast. Tim lays some groundwork for working more creatively, productively, earning more, and controlling your own destiny. While these are lofty goals and overly simplified, his ideas are valuable.
The book is broken down into four main sections: Definition, Elimination, Automation, and Liberation. The first section is focused on divorcing yourself from such toxic ideas that working yourself to death is a productive and worthy goal. He discusses how relative income (how much you earn per hour) is more important than your absolute income (how much you make total). Spend time thinking and defining your dream: if you could do anything, what would it be? Most people neglect to answer these basic questions and therefore don’t set properly defined goals.
Step 2, elimination, highlights that being involved in less often leads to better results rather than being busy for the sake of appearing productive. Pareto’s Law explains that 80% of the outputs result from 20% of the inputs. For mental health, Tim suggests a low-information diet ridding most media from your life, including newspapers, news websites, television, and web surfing. Most news and information is time consuming, negative, and unrelated to your goals, though most people feel a moral obligation to consume it.
The final section, entitled Liberation, begins with this Robert Frost quote critiquing prevailing societal beliefs about work, “By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may eventually get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.” Ferriss urges us to reexamine our beliefs about work and design what we want for ourselves. While this book doesn’t guarantee unlimited passive income while solo-vacationing around the world, taken with a grain of salt, it serves as a great introduction to thinking about work more creatively and uniquely designing your life.
the joy of not working, by ernie zelinski
Zelinksi was the first writer I came across when I started to think about pursuing work differently (as such, he holds a special place in my heart).This work is filled with great quotes from a variety of thinkers, cute animations, and informative lists that punctuate most pages. While the title might be a bit exaggerated and misleading, Zelinksi helps us reconsider our approach to work and effectively manage our leisure time. He turned a life lesson of getting fired at 29 into a lifelong journey of crafting a lifestyle of leisure.
He provides comprehensive lists of things to do in your leisure time so that you will never get bored! The author argues that being bored is only a reflection of a person’s lack of creativity. Imagine if you enjoy to read… well, there are infinite books to occupy yourself for a lifetime! His activity list is exhaustive and include: going to the library, learning to cook, fishing, offering to work for nothing, joining a new club, doing a jigsaw puzzle, training your mind to be creative, becoming a movie critic, playing a prank on a friend, writing a play, etc. While a little silly, the list reminds us of how many new hobbies and skills we can cultivate.
The lighting your own fire chapter describes that the more you’re out of of step with society, the greater your chances for self-discovery, adventure, and happiness. The famous psychologist Maslow describes that the highest level of self-development is achieved through self-actualization. Zelinski gives practical advice for writing a book which he believes to be one of the most fulfilling forms of self-actualization. He concedes that he’s not the best writer, but has still achieved great results by being consistent, producing something new each day, not obsessing over details, and just jumping in (citing Nike’s “Just Do It” slogan). By chipping away a little each day, before you know it, you will have compiled a whole book!
In the personal finance section, Zelinksi emphasizes simplicity, and taking one step each day to make your life less complicated. He warns of wealth and materials, quoting J Brotherton who rejects materialism, “My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions but in the fewness of my wants.” Zelinski’s style and humor combined with the quotes and cartoons set this book apart. Perhaps his message isn’t so obvious after all, since most people would still consider him a rebel.
how to win friends and influence people, by dale carnegie
While the majority of principles might seem a bit cliche, they are timeless and powerful. The fundamental lesson is built on the concept to put others’ interests before your own. We are generally self-consumed in our relationships (and in life). If we train ourselves to engage others in ways that serve them, we will get more out of our relationships. Smiling, listening, and developing a genuine admiration for the other person are all crucial. People are much more interested in themselves than they are about you. When was the last time you asked someone else what their upbringing was like? With genuine interest. Carnegie points out that when a person admits that they're wrong immediately in a dispute, they win favor in the other person's eyes. Instead of blaming you for your fault, they will gain respect for you. Rather than giving orders in the workplace, survey your employees with comments like, “I’d love to hear your ideas about this,” empowering them to collaborate. It’s effective to praise employees on their merits prior to making suggestions or critiques. Emphasize their positive qualities and contributions and then just make a few constructive critiques at the end of your appeal.